Child and teen Therapy FAQ IN San Diego

Questions parents and teens ask me

If you're here, you probably have questions before you reach out, and that's exactly how it should be. Here are the ones I hear most, answered honestly. If yours isn't here, just ask me.

for kids and teens

Trauma therapy

  • Your child may need therapy if their behavior or mood has changed in a way that's lasting more than a few weeks and getting in the way of daily life, like meltdowns that feel bigger than the moment, trouble sleeping, pulling away from friends, or falling apart at home or school. You don't need to be certain, and you don't need a diagnosis to reach out. If your gut says something is off, that's reason enough to ask.

  • Some struggles really are a phase, and some are your child asking for help in the only way they can. The clearest signal is a pattern: the same worry, meltdown, or withdrawal showing up again and again, and starting to affect school, sleep, friendships, or home. If it's been going on for weeks and nothing you try is helping, it's worth a conversation, even just to get peace of mind.

  • No. Wanting to understand what's going on with your child is good parenting, not overreacting. Reaching out early, before a small struggle has years to settle in, is one of the most helpful things you can do. A free consultation costs you nothing and can tell you whether your child needs support or simply a little time.

  • Not necessarily worried, but worth paying attention to. A lot of kids hold it together all day at school and then fall apart the moment they get home, where they feel safe enough to let it out. That home meltdown is not a sign you're doing something wrong. It often means you're the safe place, and it can still be a sign your child is carrying more than they can manage alone.

  • I work with children and teens, and most of my clients are between about six and twelve. I also see younger kids through play therapy and teens through individual therapy, and I support the parents of all of them.

play therapy

What it is and how it works

  • Play therapy is a form of therapy that helps children work through their feelings and experiences using play, which is how kids naturally express what they can't yet put into words. Through toys, art, and pretend, a trained play therapist helps a child process what's bothering them and build healthier ways to cope. It's the most developmentally natural way to reach a young child.

  • It's real therapy, and the play is the point. While your child plays, I'm tracking themes, patterns, and the feelings they can't name yet, and I'm gently guiding the work the whole time. Kids process things through play the way adults process things through talking. Research shows children who receive play therapy improve significantly more than those who don't.

  • Play therapy helps children understand and manage big feelings, work through hard experiences, and build confidence and coping skills. Over time, that tends to show up at home as fewer meltdowns, better sleep, and a kid who seems more like themselves. Because so much of what overwhelms a young child lives in the parts of the brain that don't have words attached, play reaches those places in a way talking can't.

  • Yes, and it's completely normal. Young children aren't expected to explain their feelings out loud for real change to happen. The work happens through the play itself, and I'm paying close attention to what it's telling me the whole time.

  • Keep it simple and warm. You might say, "You're going to spend time with someone who has a room full of toys, and her job is to help kids with big feelings by playing together." Framing it as a special place that's just for them, rather than somewhere to be fixed, takes all the pressure off.

  • It depends on your child and what's going on, so I'll always be honest with you about how things are progressing. Some children feel steadier within a couple of months, and deeper work takes longer. The goal is always to help your child get to a better place.

teen therapy

For parents and teens

  • Start by knowing this is incredibly common, and it doesn't mean the closeness is gone for good. What looks like shutting down is usually a teen who feels overwhelmed and unsure anyone will really get it. A therapist gives them a neutral space to open up without the pressure of family in the room, and I can meet with you first to figure out the best way in.

  • You don't have to force it, and forcing rarely works anyway. We can start with just you, and I'll help you figure out how to approach it in a way that lowers the resistance. When your teen is ready, that first session is built to take all the pressure off, with no agenda and nothing they have to talk about.

  • With teens, fit matters more than almost anything, and a bad match could be why therapy didn't stick the first time. Tell me what didn't work before, and we'll see if a different approach feels better to your kid. I focus on building real trust first, at their pace.

  • Most teens do, once they figure out I'm not there to judge them, fix them, or report everything back to their parents. I start by simply getting to know them as a person, and I keep what they tell me private, which is usually what lets a guarded kid finally be honest.

  • Teen therapy can help with anxiety, depression, anger, low self-esteem, friendship and identity struggles, school stress and refusal, and the aftermath of hard experiences. Together we work through whatever has been weighing on your teen, so they feel steadier, more themselves, and more connected to you.

children and teens

EMDR

  • EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapy that helps the brain process a painful or scary memory so it stops feeling so raw and overwhelming. Instead of talking about the event over and over, EMDR uses gentle back-and-forth stimulation, like eye movements or tapping, to help the memory settle. It's well-researched and widely used for trauma.

  • Yes. EMDR is safe and effective for children and teens, and it's adapted to each child's age and what they can handle. For younger kids, I often combine it with play so it feels safe and familiar. We never rush toward the hard part, and I build in safety every step of the way.

  • No, and that's one of the biggest reasons EMDR works so well for kids. Your child doesn't have to retell the whole story out loud to heal from it, which takes enormous pressure off a child who can't or doesn't want to talk about what happened.

  • Regular talk therapy asks a child to explain their feelings in words, which is hard for many kids. EMDR helps the brain process the memory more directly, so it often reaches what words can't, and for many children it works faster than traditional talk therapy.

  • Yes. We don't have to use eye movements at all. I can use gentle tapping or sounds instead, whatever feels most comfortable for your child. The whole process is shaped around what helps them feel safe.

for kids and teens

Trauma therapy

  • Trauma therapy helps a child who has been through something frightening or painful, like an accident, a loss, a medical scare, abuse, or family upheaval, process what happened so it stops running their daily life. For kids, this often means EMDR, play-based trauma work, and trauma-focused approaches that help a child make sense of the event and feel safe again.

  • Common signs include new nightmares, clinginess, jumpiness, big reactions to reminders of the event, trouble sleeping, regression like bedwetting, or refusing to talk about something you know affected them. If your child hasn't been the same since something happened, that's worth paying attention to, even if the event seems small to an adult.

  • Yes. Children are remarkably resilient, and with the right support they can work through hard experiences and feel safe again. Getting help early, rather than letting a hard experience settle in for years, often makes the process gentler and faster.

  • That's okay, and it's very common. Approaches like EMDR and play therapy are designed so your child can heal without having to retell the whole story out loud. We work through it in ways that feel safe and doable for a kid.

for parents

Positive discipline and parent support

  • Parent support, sometimes called parent guidance or coaching, is where a therapist helps you understand what's driving your child's behavior and gives you real tools for the hard moments at home. It can run alongside your child's therapy or stand on its own for parents who just want to feel steadier. The goal is a calmer home and a stronger relationship with your kid.

  • Not at all. You can be a wonderful, loving parent and still have a child who needs a little extra support. Both things can be true at the same time. Needing help is not a failure, it's one of the most caring things you can do for your kid.

  • Positive discipline is an approach that helps parents be kind and firm at the same time, guiding a child's behavior through connection, clear limits, and natural consequences rather than punishment or rewards alone. It focuses on teaching skills and understanding the need behind the behavior, which tends to work better over time than punishment by itself.

  • Yes. Some parents I support alongside their child's sessions, and others come to me on their own, just wanting help with what's happening at home. Both are welcome.

for clients

Confidentiality

  • No. What you tell me stays between us, and that privacy is what makes therapy work. I won't repeat your sessions to your parents. The main exceptions are situations where someone's safety is at risk, which I'll always explain to you clearly at the start, so there are no surprises.

  • Yes, for the most part. Teen therapy is built on privacy, and I keep what you share confidential so you can actually be honest. I do have to step in if you or someone else is in danger, but outside of those safety situations, your sessions are yours.

  • It depends on the level of risk, and I'm always upfront about where that line is. Day-to-day things you share stay private. If there's a serious safety concern, I'll involve your parents, and whenever possible I'll talk with you about it first so you're part of the conversation.

  • Your child's sessions are theirs, and I protect that privacy because it's what lets them open up. I won't give you a play-by-play, but I will keep you in the loop on how things are going, the themes we're working on, and what helps at home. If there's ever a safety concern, we talk right away.

for PARENTS

Parent Involvement

  • Parents are a key part of child therapy, especially with younger kids. I meet with you regularly to share what's going on underneath your child's behavior and to give you strategies for home, while still protecting your child's private space in session. You're never shut out.

  • Yes. You and I meet regularly so you understand the themes we're working on and what helps at home. I keep the details of what your child shares private, but you'll always know how things are going and how to support them.

  • Yes. I typically meet with you before I ever meet your child, so I understand the full picture, and we continue to check in throughout. For some families, parent sessions are a regular part of the work.

  • Usually not, and there's a good reason for it. Your child needs the space to feel like it's fully theirs in order to open up. Instead of sitting in, you and I meet separately so you stay closely involved in a way that still protects that space.

Costs, Insurance, and Logistics

  • Sessions are private pay and $200, depending on the type and length of session. I'll always be transparent about fees before we begin, so there are no surprises.

  • I'm private pay, and I provide a superbill you can submit to your insurance for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Many families are able to get a portion of the cost back this way. I'm happy to walk you through how it works.

  • A superbill is a detailed receipt for your therapy sessions that you can submit to your insurance company to request out-of-network reimbursement. It's how private-pay clients often get part of their cost covered. I provide these for you.

  • Sessions are typically weekly to start, which helps build momentum and trust, especially with kids and teens. Most sessions run around 45 to 50 minutes. As your child makes progress, we may space sessions out.

  • My office is in Encinitas San Diego, and it's a warm, calm space designed to feel safe and easy for kids to settle into.

  • The easiest first step is to reach out for a free consultation. You tell me a little about what's been going on, and we figure out together whether I'm the right fit for your family. No pressure, just a conversation.

First session, progress, and fit

  • What happens in the first session?

    The first session is low-pressure by design. With younger children, that usually means play and simply getting comfortable. With teens, it's a relaxed conversation with no agenda. Before I meet your child, you and I meet first so I understand the full picture. The early goal is trust, not diving into the hard stuff.

  • How do I prepare my child for their first appointment?

    Keep it simple, warm, and pressure-free. Let them know they're going to spend time with someone whose job is to help kids with big feelings, and that there's nothing they have to talk about or get right. Framing it as their own special place, not a punishment or a fix, helps them walk in feeling safe.

  • How long until we see progress?

    It varies by child and by what's going on, and I'll always be honest with you about how things are moving. Some families notice small shifts within a few weeks, and deeper change takes longer. Progress with kids is rarely a straight line, and that's normal.

  • What if my child doesn't like their therapist?

    Fit is one of the most important parts of therapy, especially for kids and teens, and it's okay if it takes a little time to build. If it isn't the right match, I'd rather know, and I'll always help you find the right next step for your child even if that's someone else.

Specific situations I help with:

  • Yes. Frequent, intense meltdowns are often a young child's way of showing they're overwhelmed by something they can't yet put into words. Therapy helps get to what's underneath, so the meltdowns ease and your home feels calmer.

  • This is incredibly common. Many kids use every bit of their self-control to hold it together all day, then release it at home, where they feel safest. It's not a sign you're doing something wrong. It often means you're their safe place, and therapy can help them build more room to cope.

  • Yes. Separation anxiety, bedtime fears, and not wanting to sleep alone are some of the most common reasons families come to me. Through play therapy and gentle, steady work, kids learn to feel safer, and those hard nights usually get easier.

  • Big changes often show up in kids as regression, anger, clinginess, or withdrawal. Therapy gives your child a safe place to make sense of what happened so they can settle again. Play therapy and EMDR are both well-suited to helping kids process a hard change.

  • Trust that worry and reach out. Signs like ongoing sadness, withdrawal, sleep or appetite changes, irritability, or losing interest in things they used to love are worth taking seriously. A consultation can help you understand what's going on and what kind of support fits.

  • If your teen is self-harming, please treat it seriously and reach out for support right away. It's often a sign they're overwhelmed and don't have another way to cope, and therapy can help. If your child is in immediate danger or talking about ending their life, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to your nearest emergency room. Once things are safe, I can help your teen build healthier ways to cope.

Let's start with a conversation.

Tell me a little about what’s been going on with your child. We’ll talk it through and figure out together whether I’m the right fit for your family. No pressure, just a first step. I offer free consultations if you’d like to talk things through before deciding.

Tell me what's going on